Friday, April 20, 2012

A Cure?

The last 3 days have been the irritating the crap out of me kind of days.  Bravo is exhausted; I am exhausted, and honestly just frustrated. It seems my pancreas decided to HELP again...but now it is helping WAY too much!  I am one of those LONG HONEYMOONERS!  Who ever named the phasing out of the pancreas, as a honeymoon was CRAZY!  To me a honeymoon means a pleasant time…involving lots of fun!  If I had married a jerk like diabetes I am pretty sure it would now be buried in the west desert and I would be claiming NO KNOWLEDGE of its demise!

Think about the similarities between diabetes and a bad partner!  It always interrupts your life when you least expect it!  It is always butting in when you are seriously focused on something else.  It brings many days of intense sadness and heartache.  Sometimes its actions make you throw up. Sometimes its actions make you really edgy and frustrated.  Sometimes (A LOT) is makes blood flow (every time we test)!  Sometimes it just nags at you till your brain fogs over!  Sometimes it steals your memories and tries to sap the joy out of your life!  Egad…. I am honeymooning with Jeffery Dahmer!  I want a DIVORCE NOW!

I AM JOKING!  Sort of!   With each passing day my memory of life without diabetes gets less and less. With each new day it becomes more integrated in my life.  It is ALMOST like breathing anymore.  I still don’t like it but I find myself making friends with it.  There are many aspects of it that I don’t like and don’t agree with but I am getting comfortable with it! Then because it is diabetes it has to go and do something to just irritate the crap out of me again!  I refuse to let it be a serial killer.  I refuse to let it be a joy killer.  Sometimes I have to re-negotiate with my own body but I WILL NOT LET diabetes win!

Can you imagine what life would be like without diabetes?  What if there was a CURE?  Would life be any different than it is now?  Are you sure about those thoughts?

Deep breathe here…EVEN IF THERE WAS A CURE I AM NOT SURE I WOULD GO FOR IT!  First off, as with most medical technology I want to make sure it is proven and getting excellent long term results.  I would hate for the cure to come and then 20 years later find out it caused something else to go wrong with my body.  I am almost grateful to diabetes in many other ways.  It forced me to take a good look at myself and get my act together about how I was taking care of this body.  It has allowed me to meet some of the most incredible resilient people on the planet.  These incredible people that share my journey and challenges with diabetes, maybe slightly different path but they UNDERSTAND!  It has allowed me to take my love and knowledge of dogs and the disease and combine that knowledge into helping many amazing people!  So while I hate diabetes I really am grateful for the amazing people have met and whose lives have touched mine!

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