Word Cloud

Six Sentence Story

The pup rambled around the room, looking for mischief to get into!  He tried to get Bravo to play, but Bravo wanted no part.  He moved on to a bone where he contentedly started chewing!  Suddenly, he lifted his head away from the bone and sniffed at the air.  He looks around the room for the source of the scent, when his eyes settle on me!  He lunges as fast as his little legs will carry him to jump up on me to tell me my blood glucose is low!

The First Time

The first time I ever knew something was really wrong with me that was just plain old diabetes.  I was sitting in my regular GP’s office.  I had been “diabetic” T2 supposedly for a couple of years.  I took what they told me at that time pretty serious and did as advised!  At that time I was getting A1c’s every 6 months or so, was on oral meds, and kept a fairly detailed log of what I was eating, what I was doing, and my numbers.  My doctor at that time had never ONCE looked at them even though I had them with me.  That particular day when she came in she started yelling at me that she “couldn’t believe that I could not care about my health and would let things get this bad…she informed me that my A1C was 13.9! “ (That means my average BG readings were around 350…normal is 80 to 120) .  She ranted and raved at me for a bit and would not let me talk.  Finally I remember crossing my arms, leaning back in my chair and glaring at her! She finally ask “WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?”  I shut my log book that showed I had been eating less than 20 carbs a meal and less than 40 carbs most days, it showed the numbers 2 hours after ANY carb to be extremely high.  It showed that exercise did nothing!  It showed all of my efforts...it showed my weight had dropped 40lbs in about 5 months even though I really hadn’t tried.  I did try to verbally explain what was in my log sitting in my lap when she looked at me and said “YOU ARE LYING!  You are not doing your part!”  At that point I shut up, dropped my head and said “would you please give me a referral to a diabetes clinic?” She replied, “Absolutely….it is OBVIOUS you will not take MY ADVICE” as she slide a business card across the table!  I took the card, stood up and unleashed some of the my feelings….about “How UNHELPFUL she truly was, and that if she had allowed me to show her what I had been doing that she would see how wrong she was, that SOMETHING else was going on.  I had a 2 inch BINDER full of daily log sheets for the last year. She listened and then glared at me and said….”well you made them up because no diabetic has an A1C that high who tries at all”  I turned and left rather quickly afraid if it went any further I would really lose my temper!  I went home and bawled.  I knew something was wrong but I didn’t know how to fix it!  I was ANGRY that what ever “it” was that was wrong I could do nothing about!  The card she had given me laid on my TV stand for a few months finally I found the courage to call and try the medical field again!

I contacted the Cottonwood Endocrine Center and set up an appointment with a CDE/nutrionist.  The day of the appointment I once again took my binder along just in case anyone wanted to see it.  I walked in and was fairly prompted to come to the back!  This lady was warm and friendly.  She was genuine in her efforts to help.  However, because of my past experience I told her I had 2 questions.   She replied “ SURE!!!”  I said’ “Do you like dogs or cats?”  She promptly replied “DOGS!!! Why?”  Ummm…I replied,  “ All of the people in the medical field that I like and get along with like dogs!  I am adding this as a screening process”.   She laughed!  “What is your second question?”   “Umm….  Well can I eat venison?”  “Absolutely”, she quickly replied.  “Has someone told you that you couldn’t?”  I just grinned and said “OK now we can talk”.  We spent the next hour and half going over all of my records and at this CDE prodding I reluctantly made an appointment with a doctor that specializes in diabetes.  In a short time it was discovered that I carry the T1 antibodies and that I was in the honeymoon phase of my pancreas petering out! 

Many things have happened since that day!  While it was “bad” life changing news I actually breathed a sigh of relief of knowing that what was wrong with me was fixable with the right treatment. I learned that I had done nothing wrong to bring on the diabetes.  It had been coming on and the signs were there for a very long time!  My pancreas was defective and NOTHING I ate or didn’t eat was going to change it!  No amount of exercise was going to fix it.  Yes paying attention to those things would help me better “manage” it …it was never going away.

There is a first time for everything…but that first resulted in me truly “taking charge of my care”.  It has helped me work with medical professional to become a part of “My team”! I am not on their team…they are on mine!  They work for me!  A doctor will not bully me again!  If I don’t understand, I am going to keep on looking for someone who can explain it to me!  We all deserve at least that!

Health Tag

Introducing:

TATTLE TAIL SCENT DOGS -

WHERE A DOGS NOSE MEETS YOUR HEART!

On March 1 on this year I started a new business venture.  The purpose of this business is to provide quality alert dogs to self-trainers.  I also provide information, training and support to individuals and family’s looking for a dog with scent based imprinting!

Being a Type 1 diabetic myself with over 20 years of dog training experience in assorted dog venues has led me to start combining my love of dogs with my love for people!   There will be more information to come as things start coming together but I felt this was a perfect time to announce this to the world!

5 Challenges 5 Victories

The assignment for today is 5 challenges of living with diabetes and then 5 victories or things that keep me going!

Anyone who lives with T1 diabetes will tell you that the challenges are many!  For myself I think the number one challenge is that T1 diabetes is a disease of constant change! You can eat the same number of carbs, bolus the same amount of insulin, have the same basal program for a week in a row and get 7 different numbers.  It is SO FRUSTRATING!  Humans by nature sort of like things to be status quo!  We don’t want our world rocked around a lot.  Yes you can learn to deal with it.  But it is tiresome!  It wears on you! Sometimes you even wonder “If this is what my life is going to be like, is it worth it?”  Tough place to be as the person in it and even tougher to an outside observer who loves the person with T1!  I can’t believe I am even writing about it but it is true…sometimes in that deep dark place inside of us…we get so tired that we question whether we REALLY WANT to live this way!  We search and pray for a CURE or at the very least something that will ease the burden of the everyday crap of living with the disease.  We try EVERYTHING suggested and yet sometimes the numbers don’t add up.  We might even be accused of “not trying” hard enough!   We live with our back up to a wall!  Every stinking day!  The day I found a small victory with this was the day I turned and really took a good look at the wall that was holding me up…the wall that had my back.  That wall was composed of love and care of friends, family, a AWESOME diabetic team, and of course Bravo, Radar, and every other diabetic alert dog that I have helped raise or foster!  I realized by not looking at the wall I was being very selfish and very self-centered.  I have been caught in the “poor me” mentality and realized that I was falling “victim” to this disease!  Sometimes it takes my “wall” booting or nipping” me in the backside to get me to see JUST HOW LUCKY I REALLY AM!

Challenge number 2 of this disease is the numbers.  Almost every aspect of this disease is about numbers.  How many carbohydrates? How much protein?   How many calories?  What does this food weigh so I can figure out how to bolus?  How much do I bolus? How much are my basals?  How much does one unit of insulin normally drop my blood glucose?  How many carbohydrates does it take to raise my blood glucose?  The numbers seem to never ever end!   My diabetic friends when we are together make a game out of the carb counting.  Meters on table and pumps in ready…we then play the “What are you shooting up for?”  Looking back other patrons might think we are CRAZY!  We are laughing and joking and in general having a good time.   We KNOW who is going to overshot the insulin and have a low!  We are pretty sure of who is going to be high at 2 hours.  But we laugh and sometimes we get it right!  Sometimes we don’t but it is the laughter, the knowing we tried, that makes the 2-hour mark bearable no matter what the outcome!

The third challenge of living with diabetes is that it is NEVER CONVINENT! It is always right in the middle of something I consider important when low or a high blood glucoses strike!  Right when I am having the most fun or when I am most focused!  I don’t want to stop what I am doing to deal with the low or high!  As a normal human being I want to feel like I have “it” together.  I wasn’t to feel that I am a valuable and contributing member of society!  As a T1 diabetic in the middle of one of those inconvenient and sometimes life threatening low or high blood glucoses I feel like a FAILURE, I feel like I am bothering others when I need their help, and most of all I am frustrated and stupid that I had to stop what I was doing to deal with business.  We ll have crap to deal with and I get that but sometimes once again I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN or FINISH A JOB WITHOUT INTERUPTION. There are 2 things that help me when the convenient factor arises!  The first is I think about what Bravo has done for me and what he has given up.  Bravo LOVES to retrieve and his favorite thing to retrieve is birds.  Yet I have been out hunting with him and seen him MAKE A CHOICE to offer alerting behavior over retrieving!  That is how much he knows his job!  The other thing that helps is HUMOR!  It isn’t always funny in the middle of a low blood glucose but after it I can guarantee a good laugh or two!  Thank God I don’t usually remember too much about the specifics of the lows!  One of my many funny stories happened when I was deer hunting in Missouri!  I had a bad stubborn low that wasn’t responding to treatment.  I was in the timber in a fairly remote area of the farm. In the fog of the low blood glucose the only thing I knew was to call my friend Kim!  I called her in Utah to find out if she knew where I had parked the truck in Missouri!  It is good to have friends that “get it”.

The forth challenge of living with the diabetes is simply the amount of “stuff” we have to carry as a T1 diabetic!  Holy cow my alert dog also has to be a pack mule! Lets see in my d-bag I carry….

Insulin

Low BG treatments

2 glucagon

Med cards

Site changes

Extra lancets/poker

Extra strips

Batteries for pump and meter

Log

Extra meter

Syringes

Dog treats

Hand sanitizer

Band aids

Emergency Contact Numbers

Small sharps container

Ibuprofen

Big Bottle of Glucose tabs

This is just from memory without dumping the bag!  A trick that Kim taught me..SET ORGANIZED and KEEP IT STOCKED!  When you use something REPLACE IT!

Lastly and this is another DARK THEME……how about the challenge of going to sleep and not sure at all that morning will come!  Sometimes it is downright scary to go to sleep.  Usually this happens when I have had a really bad day or couple of days of lows!   All I can do and will continue to do it to do MY BEST when it comes to self care.  What is IS and what will be WILL BE!  It is all in God’s hands!  If I do my part I figure He can handle the rest.  I have to remember that!  Tomorrow is never guaranteed so I do my best to make sure that THIS DAY was as good as it can get.  I can’t change most things about diabetes but I can change my attitude          !

I know this post is fairly long and has moments of darkness, but it is truly what some of the challenges and victories of living with T1!  If you can’t have a good day at least have a good attitude!

Third Person

Watching careful!  Do you see it?

It is a beautiful day, bright blue skies with light wispy clouds!  A little boy sitting on the ground under a shade tree!  His eyes have a hollow glazed over aspect to them!  You speak to him and he looks up but it as if you are speaking a foreign language to him.  His reply finally comes but the speech is slow and slightly slurred!  It is as if the words in his brain come out his mouth with the speed of molasses!  Every part of him struggles to move, he knows he should, he knows he needs to, but he just can’t do it with any normalcy.  A small chocolate lab puppy is set down in front of this little boy and the puppy looks around and slightly lifts his head to scent the air!   The pup looks at each of the people surrounding him and then looks at the little boy.  He lunges straight ahead for the little boy with all the speed and accuracy that his little 8-week-old body can muster.  He goes straight for the little boys chin and begins to lick at his chin and then circles to his ear.  The little boy in the fog at first is startled but then begins to smile, his arms circle the puppy and begin to cradle and stroke the pups head and body!  The pup settles in his lap with his little chin resting on the boys forearm.  The pup’s eyes occasionally glance away but mostly his eye’s are on his self-proclaimed charge.  A 6-year-old boy with T1 diabetes!  The pup seems to know that he is needed and wanted here in this dazed state of the lil boy!  As the numbers come up the pup begins to be a normal puppy again, picking up sticks and greeting those who are gathered around.

What you just witnessed was a first alert of an 8 week old puppy to his new owner as best as it can be explained by this writer! 

Health Mascot

The assignment today is to have a health mascot!  Get bonus points for a picture!  This one is a NO BRAINER!

Here is my mascot and a few pictures!