Just one of those days! Why is it that lately ever day seems like one of those days? I am tired, my dogs are tired and we all have had enough of the low episodes.
Diabetes affects every person differently…I get that. I just would like to be a tad more normal for once. The lows I am having appear to have NOTHING to do with what I eat, how much insulin I take or didn’t take, stress, or activity...although I have those lows sometimes…but they are different. The lows I am having come out of nowhere and run me over like a freight train. I have had 3 of these occurrences since Friday. Each time they happen it gets harder and harder to harder to recover from them. They leave me extremely tired and washed out. My brain is in horrible fog for days after one of these kind of lows and when I have 3 in a row… I don’t even have words to explain it feels.
What bothers me even more is the toll that I see it having on my dogs…particularly Bravo. Bravo is as wiped out as I am, but he never leaves my side unless I force him to…and then he isn’t real happy about it. I go to work and put him on place in my office behind the counter and he sneaks in to lie at my feet. I put him in a port-a-kennel at the house and he barks, whines and digs at the kennel to get back out. The scary thing is that as long as he is acting this way I know that I am not of the woods yet. On a ‘normal’ day he would go in his kennel or on his place and curl up and go to sleep until I called him off. I look at his face and I see him graying before his time and I wonder if as grateful as I am to have him if somehow I am being a horrible person for asking or allowing him to do this.
I don’t know…maybe I am just tired or fogged out today. I know the tone of this is very down. It is just days like this that I realize what a gift Bravo and Radar are. I realize what hope they bring to me. I just wish we could figure out what is going on so they didn’t have to work so hard.